How Separated Parents Can Continue To Be Effective Parents

Though co-parenting may be frustrating at times, the benefits of separated parents who have a cooperative relationship are endless. A cooperative relationship helps not only the child feel secure, but also gives both parents an easier transition from being an intact family to maintaining two households effectively.  Here are a few tips we can give you based on our experience with both high conflict and cooperative families. 

1.  Have realistic expectations

Probably the most difficult but crucial step in the co-parenting process is to understand that co-parenting, like any team effort, requires the undiluted perspective that it will not always be easy, but it does not have to be difficult. With the correct game plans and communication methods, parents and the child can move forward into the next chapter smoothly.  

2.  Agreed upon financial plan

Discussing finances early on can save co-parenting individuals from significant and costly disagreements later. As soon as possible, have conversations with your parenting counterpart to develop a financial plan that encompasses both the parent’s needs and goals as well as the child’s needs.  This will include child support, contributions to out of pocket expenses such as healthcare, school, child care, activities, and camp, to name a few. You will want to discuss how much you can each contribute, whether caps are necessary, and how to pay directly or reimburse the other for expenses.   Co-parents should discuss what is realistic in each parent’s ability and get organized by keeping accurate records for shared expenses. It is important to be both honest and respectful in these conversations and receptive to the other co-parent’s ideas. Also, the follow-through and maintaining your end of the bargain is important to develop and maintain trust with the other. 

3.  Transparent and easy communication

Co-parents can easily integrate communication with one another into their everyday lives without impeding on their new lifestyle. This can be in the form of using co-parenting mobile applications such as My Family Wizard or Talking Parents.  These methods can work well with contentious co-parents struggling with effective communication or for any parents looking to make communication easier and more organized. There is no right or wrong answer to the method of communication, but you both must find a method that works well for each of your lifestyles, respond to each other on a timely basis, and keep the communications respectful and focused only on the child-related matters. 

4.  Keep the focus on the child

Finally, and the most important, is that the parties keep in mind who matters most to them before they act. Not every moment of co-parenting can be a breeze as co-parenting decisions can involve tough decisions and conversations where you both may not initially agree. Instead of “blowing up” and writing an inciting message, take a deep breath, and think before making your fiery response. Keep the main focuses in mind, such as the happiness, stability, and future well-being of your child.

At The Law Office of Erin M. Wilson LLC, we can help your family develop parenting plans whether you are already in the co-parenting mindset or at a point of high conflict and wanting to move forward in a healthier manner.  You can always consider a Parenting Coordinator to assist with co-parenting as well. Remember that you are doing this for your child and they are the ones who will win when you co-parent effectively. 

NOTICE: This blog is intended solely for informational purposes and should not be construed as providing legal advice. Please feel free to contact us with any questions you may have regarding this blog post.